The biggest hypocrites that I have witnessed in my life are amongst the Christians. These people act as judge, jury and executioner. They appear self-righteous and have no scriptural understanding. They are like the Scribes and Pharisees, quoting portions of the Bible but fail to live what they preach.
I used the word “preach” because some of the hypocrites are pastors. They stand in the pulpit each week, not speaking or living the truth and nullify sins like abortion and homosexuality. Some of them marry and ordain the people who are living in sins of abomination which will damn their soul if they don’t repent before their spirit leaves their bodies.
I know of several cases where hypocritical people have married into families and then split those families apart with their self-righteousness, arrogance and pride. These in-laws have treated their father and mother-in laws with such contempt, biblically in the Old Testament they would have been judged and killed. Please read my article titled, “Dishonoring Parents”.
The fathers and mothers who have these Pharisee in-laws by counsel have been found innocent by their own pastors and those in authority over them. Their arrogant in-laws try to hold them accountable, according to the scriptures, even though they themselves are not following the very scriptures.
They have set up their own “kangaroo court” system and put their mother and father-in-laws on trial, acting alone as their judge, jury and executioner. Forget about calling in objective witnesses or having qualified pastor’s act as true arbitrators, instead they judge these innocent victims that they should be honoring and respecting.
They split the families they married into and refuse to allow their children to see their grandparents. Sometimes even refusing for their children to receive presents for their birthdays etc., from their grandparents.
Not even the most pagan atheist does this type of behavior, which is the very antithesis of what love and true Christianity is all about. I know of one case of a Pharisee son-in-law in 1998, who was suppose to be an assistant pastor in a church, yet he tortured his father and mother-in-law with false unsupported allegations even in court, and has turned their own daughter against them. He has since kept his children from visiting their innocent grandparents.
There are many reports of how children need their grandparents in their lives but these rogue parents don’t care. They are too deceived by their own bitterness, unforgiveness and pride to see how totally evil their actions are against their in-laws. It would have been better if their children had married some total pagan over these religious hypocrites.
I am sure you know some Christians who have quoted these statements, “I would rather do business with a non-believer than a Christian” or “I would rather hire a non-believer than a Christian.” These are horrible statements but it does give an idea how some Christians are such bad examples of the character of what a Christian should be like, that some people don’t want anything to do with them in business.
1 Peter 4:8, “And above all things have fervent love for one another, for Love will cover a multitude of sins.”
Proverbs 10:12, “Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins.”
In 1 Peter 4:8 the apostle is talking about interpersonal relationships. As believers, we reflect the love of God by forgiving others.
Jesus told His disciples, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35
1 Corinthians 13:5, tells us that love “keeps no record of wrongs”. When we love one another, we are willing to forgive each other.
Love covers sin in that it is willing to forgive and not embarrass or gossip about a person’s sins to others. Instead we pray for and bless them, not separate from them, because they are not as perfect as we think we are or because they did not listen to our advice or obey our wishes.
Parents don’t have to obey their children’s wishes or advice. They can have differences of opinion over theology, the scriptures or political views. They can also choose to remarry who they wish if they have heard from the Lord and have the blessings of their spiritual leadership, not necessarily the blessings of their children. Parents and their adult children can remember things differently without either party lying as our minds remember things differently. None of these differences should alienate them from their parents. The adult children should honor the choice their parents make and not refuse to meet their new spouse or their new siblings that are born in that new relationship. To refuse to continue in a relationship with their parents and their new spouse is not love but selfishness.
Love ignores personal slights or exaggeration of the truth if one feels they are embellishing or feels the person is lying. Love chooses not to take offense at every little slight, ignorant remark or minor annoyance. These can easily be ignored and forgiven for the sake of love. Proverbs 19:11 tells us, “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression.” If we put others before ourselves and are patient, not envious or self-seeking as scriptures admonishes us, then we are less likely to take offense.
Sure, love can tell a person they have hurt or disappointed us or we disagree etc., but then we must forgive them and continue in our relationships. We even do that with the heathen; how much more should we be tolerant to and forgiving of our relatives.
I once heard a young pastor say, “I cannot let my sister who is a lesbian, or my sister-in-law who is not a Christian, into my house because they might be a bad example to my children.” What would Jesus say to that; didn’t he eat with publicans and sinners?
You will never win your lost relatives to the Lord by rejecting them. One can say I love you and you are welcome in my home but please don’t drink, take drugs or talk about your immoral relationships in my house. Before Aunt Lucy or Uncle Joe come to visit, we can teach our children that they are not Christians and are living a life not pleasing unto God so don’t follow their example, however, we will still love and pray for them. We can say a homosexual or lesbian lifestyle is wrong but we still love the person.
I believe the only time true separation of a relationship should occur is if a person is a danger to people. I am not talking about letting the person live in your house but I am talking about letting them visit you and not totally rejecting or condemning them. Your children are going to meet all types of people in society. We cannot keep them totally isolated from those types of people unless we lock them in the house and never let them come outside, but then we are not preparing them for life. We can teach our children not to become friends with people that have very bad choices of conduct, but they still can be friendly with all people. I try to show love and be friendly to all people, saint and sinner.
I read a book over forty years ago written by Dr. Minirth and Dr. Meier titled, “Happiness is a Choice.” Faith is not waiting till our feelings and emotions choose to forgive and restore relationships, it is making a decision to do it and then do it. That is called faith. The Bible says, “The Just Shall live by Faith.” If one waits till they feel like restoring a relationship it might never happen or it might take years. Instead, choose to obey the word of God which is faith and make it happen today!
Years ago it took me five years to forgive a person who committed a grievous action against a member of my family. It went from righteous anger, that is supposed to confront a person for repentance and restoration to hatred. God convicted me and I asked God to forgive me. God then told me to go to that man, even though I didn’t feel like it, and ask him to forgive me for my hatred. I did not feel like it but obeyed God, which is faith, and asked him to forgive me. That hatred broke and I love him today. Don’t wait till you feel like it or you might never restore a relationship.
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