20 Whoever curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in deep darkness.
17 And he who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.
9 For everyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother. His blood shall be upon him.
My teaching today is focused on children, especially grown children, honoring their parents. In many countries around the world, this subject does not need to be taught. It is automatic that adult children, both Christian and non-Christian; honor, respect and love their parents. They take care of their needs when they are growing old. The siblings pull their resources together to provide their parents with necessities they need. They will even build them a house or bring them in to live with them if their parents require it. As in Biblical times, the children realized their parents have wisdom from life that they could benefit from, so they asked them their opinion and many times took their advice. They gave great honor to their aged parents.
Today in America, older parents are disregarded and disrespected. They are looked at as a nuisance and even treated with disdain. The adult children forget how their parents sacrificed their lives and personal happiness to supply these adult children with the best they could. Now when the parents should be reaping the rewards of respect and honor, instead they are being treated with the spirit of the American culture of independence and selfishness. These wonderful, sacrificial parents are being treated like trash that is put out of the house. There are times when one must put a parent into a home because they cannot take care of their needs, like personal hygiene at night etc., since they still work and need their sleep. Many times this is not the case, the adult children just want their parents out of their way. Some mothers have an abortion because they do not want to be bothered with this other person, they are just too selfish and don’t care.
When my parents were aging and I could see they were going to need help, I took a mortgage out on my home to build them an addition attached to my home. They had their own living room, kitchenette, bedroom, walk-in closet and bath-room all designed for people needing assistance. My father only spent 11 nights in the house I built for them before he died and my mother has been there approximately 15 years. During that time she was in Josephine Lutheran home for assistant living three different times; twice when she broke her hip and once when she broke her shoulder. I would still visit my mother 4 to 5 times a week and bring her a strawberry frappuccino etc. What is so very sad is that the staff at Josephine’s would tell me that most people there are never visited, even during the holidays, by their children. They put their parents into Josephine’s and forget them, living their own lives with no concern over their parents.
I could tell you horror testimonies of Godly parents doing their best in raising their children, yet there are some adult children that hold incidents against their parents that they cannot remember. All they can do is apologize, yet sometimes that is not good enough. These ungrateful adults, who do not understand the meaning of grace, will not forgive. Sometimes they think their parents are lying. When in reality things in a child’s mind is, most of the time, different than what really happened. People’s minds forget the details of most things. Just because someone remembers an incident differently does not mean either party is lying.
Even adults remember things differently. Take a mission trip for example, the members on that trip usually never remember the details of a trip the same. Nobody is lying; they just remember things differently.
Since I started ministry in 1985, I have heard about numerous parents who are being rejected by their adult children. All because they disagreed on something like theology, portions of scriptures or politics. Some adult children are persecuting their parents in some form of rejection because they did not approve of their parents marrying somebody else after their spouse died. Considering their children’s feelings is one thing, but needing their approval is not needed. One must remember who the parent is and did the parent have the approval of proper people in authority over them, not under.
I am saying this because the family unit is the strength of the nation representing God’s government. The family unit is definitely under attack in the nations, some more than others. A person cannot be right with God, expecting their prayers to be answered and having God’s protection / blessings being afforded upon them, if they do not honor their parents properly so they can live a long prosperous life. Please read these scriptures:
3 Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father, and keep My Sabbaths: I am the Lord your God.
16 Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
12 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
1 Timothy 5:4
4 But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise:
3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
1 Timothy 5:8
8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1 Peter 5:5-6
5 Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”
6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,
18 “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and who, when they have chastened him, will not heed them,
19 then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city, to the gate of his city.
20 And they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’
21 Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death with stones; so you shall put away the evil from among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear.
8 My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother;
9 For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck.
1 Timothy 5:1
1 Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers,
Proverbs 30:11-14, 17
11 There is a generation that curses its father, And does not bless its mother.
12 There is a generation that is pure in its own eyes, Yet is not washed from its filthiness.
13 There is a generation—oh, how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are lifted up.
14 There is a generation whose teeth are like swords, And whose fangs are like knives, To devour the poor from off the earth, And the needy from among men.....
17 The eye that mocks his father, And scorns obedience to his mother, The ravens of the valley will pick it out, And the young eagles will eat it.
19 ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ”
10 For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’
15 “And he who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.
4 For God commanded, saying, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’
5 But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God”
6 then he need not honor his father or mother.’ Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition.
Proverbs 22:6; 10:1
6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it......
10:1 A wise son makes a glad father, But a foolish son is the grief of his mother.
22 Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old.
20 A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish man despises his mother.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
1 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:
2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good,
4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!
19 You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery,’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not bear false witness,’ ‘Do not defraud,’ ‘Honor your father and your mother.’ ”
1 A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.
These are some of a multitude of scriptures warning about honoring parents. The blessings and curses that come upon a person if they do or don’t obey God’s commandments in this area. The family is God’s government on earth and if a person violates God’s government, there are repercussions, not the least is the protection and favor of God.
Today, many adult children are living in poverty and sickness because of violating the authority of their parents in the counsel they were given. Some have married the wrong person, being unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Others ignored the warning of their parents, who shared what the Bible says about choosing good friends who are not rebels, drunkards or sexually impure. These adult children are now suffering the fruits of not honoring, thus listening, to the wisdom of their parents. They have poor paying jobs, their health is deteriorating, they are an alcoholic / drug addict or they are pregnant carrying a bastard.
Some have been raped; some more than once. Some end up in human trafficking or in an abusive and controlling relationship with someone. The ramifications of dishonoring ones parents are immense such as psychological problems including clinical depression. Yes, the Bible promises us joy and peace if we live in harmony with our Godly parents and children who will then honor us in our old age.
Adult children like to blame their parents for their problems in life. Dr. Lon Flippo in his book “The Prodigal” states “the free will of a person is what decides their fate.” Don’t blame your parents, blame yourself. Read my next newsletter, “The Prodigal”
Blessings, Jonathan Hansen
© 2021 World Ministries International