Feelings are fickle! Emotions change! But, Jehovah said, “I am that I am, I change not.” Jesus is the same “yesterday, today and forever.” Marriage is not a contract like today’s anti-Christ society likes to promote. Marriage is not a fifty/fifty agreement where “if you live up to your end of the bargain, I’ll live up to mine”. Marriage is not a mutual treaty. Love is not using, abusing or raping your wife, but love is serving. God views marriage as a covenant relationship between man and woman, even as the Church is to Jesus Christ.
There is a big difference between the Webster’s definition of love and the definition in I Corinthians 13. The world’s definition of love is self-serving and self-seeking. It is gratifying the lust of the flesh and protecting, promoting, and defending one’s own goals and interests. Whereas, Jesus defines love as long-suffering, kind, without envy, not self-exalting, not puffed up, behaves correctly, not self-seeking, not easily provoked, forgiving faithfully forever.
According to the “Rocky Mountain Family Council” 10/16/2002; “six out of ten marriages now end in separation or divorce…Three-fourths of all first marriages are blessed by pastors, priests, or rabbis. Yet, according to a University of Wisconsin study measuring divorce and separation, 60 percent of new marriages are failing…With over one million teenagers getting pregnant each year, it is clear that our children are not learning the discipline needed for a life-long marriage commitment… A Study by the National Center for Health Statistics and the University of Maryland showed that those who are sexually active before marriage are 71 percent more likely to divorce than those who are virgins on their wedding night…In fact, of 100 couples who begin a trial marriage, there will be only 15 lasting marriages; 40 break up before marriage; of the 60 who marry there will be at least 45 divorces; a 75 percent divorce rate…”
It has been reported that divorce is higher than 70% in the Bible Belt of America. This is the sad but true condition of the American backslidden, sick church and nation that have the “New Age” values and beast mentality. Men and women do not know the meaning of the word love anymore and would rather divorce than forgive.
This is a profile of the churches of Revelation that were allowing false “teachers, prophets” to lead the people into sin by their constant blasphemous teachings. Turn on the television and watch and hear The Church of Ephesus which has lost its first love. Instead of real love, we watch preachers turn people into selfish gluttons who live to get rich instead of true love which produces compassion on their fellow man. The Church of Smyrna...“blasphemy of them which say they are Christians, and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan because of their lifestyles turning and attacking true believers with their lies”. This is constantly happening today as many churches are joining in with liberal apostate churches such as “the world council of churches etc., which no longer hold to the canon of Scriptures as being inspired by God. Instead they allow Sodomites to be ordained as pastors or priests. The Church of Pergamos...“hold the doctrine of Balaam”. Jesus said He would come and fight against those teachers who tell you not worry about it; just go ahead with compromise and sin, don’t be so narrow minded, etc. The Church of Thyatira allowed a woman named Jezebel who claimed to be a prophetess to teach, thus seducing God’s people. This is happening all over the television and in churches throughout America. Women who call themselves prophetesses yet they teach heresies not exhorting the Church to repent but flaunting their supposed gifts of the Holy Spirit and teaching blasphemies. The Church of Sardis...lazy, lethargic, taking for granted their salvation and in danger of having their names removed from the book of life unless they repented and became holy and alive again. The Church of Philadelphia...”hold fast to the real truth of the gospel and live by it and I will promote and keep you.” Today's very elect are in danger of being decived by the constant barrage of apostasy on the television, radio, newspapers, movies, as well as in the majority of the Churches. And the Church of Laodicea who thought they were fine but in reality were indifferent. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. They were neutral and uncommitted. This is exactly the situation in the American church. Nothing is worth fighting for (debating, arguing, screaming) or being persecuted for. Just live and let live. Let the sodomites, lesbians, bisexuals, abortionists, adulterers, cohabitation fornicators, New Ager’s, Muslims, United Nations, etc., just continue to de-Christianize America. As long as they don’t arrest us, leave it alone. Nothing really matters anymore. Jesus is telling the lukewarm, neutral Church; “You are nauseating…I will vomit you uncommitted Christians out. You are decayed from within and do not even recognize or accept warnings.”
Dr. Wheat in his book, “Love Life for Every Married Couple” wrote: “One wife confessed to me that she was so angry with her husband that she had a desire to smother him as he slept, while another retreated into an icy resentment that caused her to say that now she could not respond to her husband even if he were perfect! Whatever name you give to your negative attitudes, the common denominator will always be the same— an unforgiving spirit that can rob you of all that makes life good if you let it continue…If you want a marriage full of love, you cannot afford the luxury of resentment or self-pity or anger. Unforgiveness toward your mate in any form (including the self-protective shield of distrust) will be the death blow to love. If you choose to cling to your bad feelings, they will cripple your marriage relationship and at the same time they will take their toll of your physical health and emotional well-being.” (Pg. 264)
Dr. Wheat continues: “So begin by realizing that you are in control of your behavior. This is what counts because it is a proven fact that feelings change as behavior changes. Then you must understand that God is not even asking you to change your feelings. He never does that. Throughout Scripture He tells us the way He wants us to behave and to think. Because He created us, He knows full well that as we think rightly and behave rightly, right feelings will appear in us as a matter of course. You need to realize that God is not asking you to work up a feeling of forgiveness toward your mate, but He is asking you to make a choice (no matter how you feel) to forgive him or her. Is God making selfish demands on us? Hardly! He asks us to forgive because He knows we will benefit from it. As a God who loves you and me with a fatherly heart, He desires the best for us. That best includes the spiritual and emotional wholeness and the physical health that spring out of a spirit of forgivenss.” (Pg. 266)
“The one who clings to the misery of an unforgiving spirit will be crippled in the living of life, God warns. And not only will that person be troubled by the root of bitterness crowding out good things in his life, but many others will be injured by it as well. The word bitterness in the Greek New Testament is pikrias, giving the idea of a cutting, pricking, puncturing that is at the same time pungent and penetrating. It vividly communicates the sensations of torture, and this is just what you are doing to yourself and your loved ones when you refuse to forgive your mate...You will indeed suffer by your own choice until you decide to fully and completely forgive any wrongs done to you. It may be one big thing or years of small hurts adding up to one large resentment. Certainly it will cost you something; it cost God more than we can ever know to forgive us. But once you have made the choice with your will, you will discover that you have taken a big step into freedom and emotional health and spiritual growth. You have come into what the psalmist called ‘a more spacious place’. When you choose to forgive your husband or wife totally and wholeheartedly for any and all wrongs, you will find yourself entering the ‘kingdom of love’.” (Pgs. 268-269)
Dr. Morris Sheats in his book “You Can Be Emotionally Healed” states: “It is up to you! You can react to your circumstances in any manner you choose. The Bible says in I Thessalonians, ‘See that you never render evil for evil.’ The word ‘see’ means ‘to understand, to visualize’ to see yourself never rendering evil for evil. Persecution comes and persecution produces pain. Then when we start to hurt on the inside, we begin to make progress. When we begin to make progress, we are growing up and we can realize that we can praise God in all the ways of our life...I want to talk to you out of my heart for just a moment. Perhaps you are saying... ‘you do not understand. I am not responsible for my reactions. Life has done me dirty, and I have been given a raw deal. I am not to blame.’ You may not be responsible for the circumstances of your life, but you are responsible for your reactions to those circumstances. Pardon the vernacular terminology, but it is a bunch of garbage when a person says, ‘I could not do anything about the way I reacted.’ Yes, my friend, you always have the choice of the way you are going to react...You say...‘what am I going to do? My reactions have not been very Christian lately.’ If your reactions have not been very Christian, then there is only one thing for you to do. Confess them as a sin unto God. Be forgiven. Be delivered. Move on up to higher ground. ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’ (John 1:9) The apostle Paul said, ‘I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me.’ (Galatians 2:20) If your reactions are not what you want them to be, let Jesus live in you.” (Pgs. 80-81)
Dr. Sheats continues: “There are two approaches you can take to broken dreams. There are two ways in which you can react. You can either become bitter or you can become better. It is entirely up to you. You have the decision, you have the choice...Two things happen when you develop a root of bitterness. Hebrews 12, verse 15 says, first of all you personally will be troubled as a result of the bitterness springing up inside of you and secondly those around you shall be defiled. This means they shall be made burdensome because of your root of bitterness...The power of decision should never be underestimated. ‘As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.’ You must decide... ‘Two men looked out from prison bars. One saw the mud; the other saw the stars.’ You can decide whether you are going to be bitter or better. That is the first step: Decide. Decide you are not going to be defeated...Day and night, pour the truth of God’s Word into your mind. Read it, meditate upon it, turn it over in your mind and press it down. Realize there is life in this Word and somehow as you begin to saturate your soul with this Truth, the bitterness begins to flow out...As long as you refuse to admit you have bitterness, you are going to continue in bitterness. In other words as long as you carry bitterness around, you are carrying sin around. As long as you are carrying sin around, your strength is going to evaporate like the showers on the pavement on a sunny day. Some of you think you are tired because you have vitamin problems. You may be tired because you have spiritual problems. Say to yourself, ‘I will confess them to the Lord, these sins of mine. I am going to confess thanks to God, you forgive me, and now all my guilt is gone.’” (Pgs. 38, 40, 42, 43, 45)
Colossians 3:12-15 reads: “Clothe yourselves therefore, as God’s own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless, long-suffering and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper]. Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive]. And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony]. And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].” (The Amplified Bible)
© 2002 World Ministries International