My Uncle Rhiney Pfitzer and Grandma Letta Hansen were two people who possessed an abundance of the Fruit of the Holy Spirit which is the character and nature of God described in the following scriptures:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 King James Version (KJV)

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”

Galatians 5:13-15 King James Version (KJV)

“For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.”

Galatians 5:22-23 King James Version (KJV)

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”

“And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.”

Many scriptures in the Bible describe the wonderful nature of love that is found in a person who is truly living in a healthy relationship with Jesus Christ. Love prevails in everything the person does and they exhibit the nature of reconciliation and restoration for all relationships between God and each person on earth one with another.

I remember fondly the kind and gentle demeanor of my Uncle Rhiney and Grandma Letta and the way they would correct someone. They would never hurt or demean a person in any way, emotionally or psychologically, but would exhibit the utmost concern for their wellbeing. Their actions were kind and considerate, always protecting the person rather than using methods of criticism brought on by bitterness and unforgiveness. A person who uses these methods is acting under an evil spirit that wants to hurt, harm or destroy. This is never acceptable for correcting a personality flaw or sin, especially if the perceived personality flaw or sin might be in the person who is doing the criticizing. God the Holy Spirit is the judge and not a biased accuser.

The Bible is so very clear, “JUDGE NOT THAT YE BE NOT JUDGED.”

1 Peter 4:8 King James Version (KJV)

God clearly instructs us to restore someone in the gentlest of ways, not embarrassing or demeaning them. We are talking about real sin such as fornication, adultery, homosexuality, abortion, etc., not what we might consider to be a personality flaw, ego problem or narcissism. For one thing who are you to judge a personality disorder or a narcissi flaw? Are you a trained expert or just a person who might be judging wrongly because of your own personality disorder, personal insecurities or prejudices? One should never be rude or overbearing, demanding the other party say nothing. You cannot insist the person simply listen to your accusations, especially in a harsh hostile tone. Do you think you are capable of correcting someone’s personality? A personality flaw is not a sin, but a process of sanctification in which all of us are growing.

When confronting a person you must speak gently and carefully, with all caution and patience. Without intimidation, yelling or hostility, share your concerns and then allow the other party to fully explain and answer the questions or allegations against them. Remember the goal is reconciliation and restoration, not an angry personal attack with threats. I have been amazed as I witness Christians behave in the most awful anti-Christ manor while dealing with people they have biases against or with their relatives. If a Pastor dealt with their congregations, as I have seen them deal with some of their own family, they would be removed from their pulpit. Other than absolute sin, such as being caught in adultery or caught in a crime, one must be extremely careful when any doubt remains. I have witnessed someone telling the truth, but the other party accusing them of some personality disorder they perceived them to have. At times I have totally disagreed with them. The accuser was not hearing what the victim was answering, as the victim (accused) kept telling the truth, but the accuser kept yelling, “You’re lying”. In this case the accused even replied to the hostile accuser, “You’re not listening to me”. The reality is the accuser was not capable of listening because he was too caught up in his ungodly and uncontrolled emotions of prejudice and actual bitterness. He was in no position to judge another person’s perceived weaknesses or to pass verdict with penalties as some foolishly do.

Please remember, the goal is always reconciliation and restoration, not judgment or punishment because of the accuser’s unwillingness to forgive as they harbor bitterness and their own insecurities.

Believers are called peacemakers and we should be about making peace through love, reestablishing reconciliation and restoration with all, especially family and Christian friends.

© 2018 World Ministries International